ANYTHING BETTER THAN THE RASTERBATER? (CHOSEN AS BEST ANSWER)

QUESTION:

When I look through the gallery of Rasterbations, some of the color ones seem to be much better quality than the Rasterbator will allow - any ideas why? Is seems like instead of dots making up the image, it's just a copy of an image. I am using 7mm dots in multi-color on a large output image and it just doesn't look as good

Any ideas why? Or how I can improve? Does downloading the program instead of using the online wizard make the difference? Is there anything program that does it better?

Here is the Rasterbator, for anyone interested that doesn't know what I'm talking about :) -
http://homokaasu.org/rasterbator/

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

Well, let me tell you! I've been a fan of the Rasterbator for about 15-16 years now. Like everyone else, when I first learned about Rasterbation, I used it like 5x a day! I used my Rasterbator everywhere! School, friend's houses, etc. I even made it a game to see how many places i could Rasterbate. Now, I've gotten a little more used to it, but still after all those years, I never neglet the old Rasterbator. While other things have come out that are better in the short term, nothing has been through what me and the Rasterbator have been through. Longevity > Flash in the pan.

tl;dr One in the hand is better than 2 in the bush. Nothing is better than the Rasterbator


Source(s):
Rasterbation Enthusiast.

MY SPAM MESSAGES ARE BEING DATED IN THE YEAR 2038. WHAT IS GOING ON?

QUESTION:

Something very odd is happening on mail that Yahoo estimates as Spam. The messages are showing posting dates in the year 2038. What is going on?

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

First of all, calm down. You're not going to do any good all worked up. Good. Now, I don't know how, but you've traveled exactly 29 years into the future. There are all sorts of phenomena that would explain this. One is that you have somehow cracked the internet by pressing
"Prt Scr + Scroll Lock +Q+Up+Down+Up+Down+Left+Right+Select"

Now, either you've just gotten infinite ammo, or, as it seems is the case, you've traveled 29 years into the future. First things first, don't try and contact your future self. There is no chance you'll play cool Chuck Berry songs and impress him, as you haven't traveled to the past. Just enjoy yourself and get a job as a historian. You'll be great!


P.S. Please send me a hoverboard

Source(s):
I am one of 3 people to win the internet.

MY FRIEND IS SICK! WHATS WRONG?

QUESTION:

my friend has been really sick lately, randomly too. she says that if feels like "a little man is in her stomach and lungs and randomly stabbing her" she is a vegetarian and already has really low iron. she always says that the fact that shes vegetarian is getting her sick, she has been one for a year. she doesn't starve herself, nor eat too much. we tell her to go to the doctor but she says her mom just thinks shes just complaining and wont take her to the doctor. what do you think is wrong with her and is there anyway she can make herself better at home? she is planning on going back to eating meat.

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

Your friend may claim to be a vegetarian but her statement of "feels like a little man is in her stomach" proves otherwise. She is pregnant. I know what you're saying, "No she's not. She's never been with anyone. We're saving ourselves for marriage. We will both be vegetarians on our wedding night." Well Sammy, seems like you're the only vegetarian in the whole bunch. Your friend lost her vegetinity along time ago. She does need to go to the doctor. There, he will confirm that she is indeed, not a vegetarian. I'd drop her now. If not, you'll probably end up on Maury Povich.

Source(s):
I'm an OBGYN.

HEY I WANT TO DO I BECOME POPULAR?

QUESTION:

like people are giving me a bad reputation how do i change my reputation in school to be cool?

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

If you're a girl: Loosen up the couch cushions, if ya know what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, make sexes.

If you're a boy: Wear white t-shirts, grease your hair straight back, wear a leather jacket, tight jeans, and perhaps some Chuck Taylors. Drive a Firebird and use phrases like:

"Wanna go necking? You know, play a little backsit bingo?"
"Wanna take a ride in my bent eight? It's cherry."
"Shut up, or I'll cream ya! A real knuckle sandwich too!"
"What it is daddy-o?"
"What's buzzin cuzzin?"



Try these tips and you won't be such a square!

Source(s):
I was voted "Coolest in the Lands" of my HS in 1956.

WHAT'S THE WORST THING A LITTLE KID SAID TO YOU?

QUESTION:

I just started a job at a daycare center. and i had tons of little kids crawling all over me wanting to hold my hand and play and read books. lol but this one kid. omg he was sooo dam rude. he said a lot to me but one of things that didnt really hurt my feelings was "can you like hear me cause you keep saying huh" yes i know its just a little kid they dont mean it. i was jw what was the worst you got from a kid. (and i couldnt hear cause there was 20 kids screaming and playing with toys lol)

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

I was babysitting a child once and I couldn't get the little boy to use the bathroom. He was running around all crazy. So, I held the door shut and told him I wasn't going to let him out until he used the bathroom. He started banging on the door, playing, but then he started crying, but he was leaning on the door now so I couldn't get in. Then he balled, "Why'd you leave daddy? Why?!! Come baaaaaack" I finally pushed the door open and knelt down beside him and asked him if he missed his dad. He said, "He touched me."

I'm sorry, this is too much. I have to go.

Source(s):
I love babysitting!

I WOULD LIKE TO FURTHER UNDERSTAND THE BUSINESS PHONE, HOW? (CHOSEN AS BEST ANSWER)

QUESTION:

How would I go about further understanding the business phone?

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

First you must realize that the business phone is for serious business only. If someone can't reach you, you should always have a business pager handy. This will make you look like you are on OFFICIAL business. Business phones are always strapped to your belt, not in your pocket like your non-business phone. Business phones always have the default ring tone. Styx is for the non-business phone. Also, every business phone comes with a blue tooth. This is serious business. Also, don't look at porn on it.

Source(s):
I am a Business Man. Very important. I can do 20 pushups in a minute.

THIS IS A MEDICAL MYSTERY I NEED HELP?

QUESTION:

I went in today to see a Gastro specialist to get an Esophagogastroduodenoscopy (EGD) procedure done to find out what was wrong with me in my G.I. tract. I was diagnosed with Helicobacter Pylori about a year ago and i was treated with PREVPAC. I kept having the same symptoms of nausea, stomach pain and an episode of tarry stools aproximately two months ago. I thought for sure i was gonna get a for sure answer today from the specialist to see what was wrong with me but the results came back as "normal". I just don't understand why did i have so much abdominal pain and why did the results come out to be normal?

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

I had this same problem 6 years ago. And I'm a doctor! I was diagnosed with IBS, which is a catch-all, and a doctors way of saying, "I don't know." I ran an EGD and a colonoscopy on myself to no avail. Then, a simple x-ray found the problem. When I was 4 years old I had swallowed a micro machine toy. It had slowly made it's way down and gotten logged in my lower intestine. I remember it quite well. It was a 1967 Chevelle SS. Cherry red. I have yet to pass it, but I've been building an extensive track for whenever it does arrive.

I am 100% sure you have the same problem, only with a 1971 T-Bird.

Source(s):
I'm a Micro Machine Doctor.

WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE RIGHT AGE TO HAVE A BABY?

QUESTION:

when do you think the right age is to have a baby x

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

Most people have babies when they are right around 9 months old. I prefer that they gestate a little longer. 9 months is just too young! They are still helpless and slow. They can easily be picked off by predators. You end up spending most of your time looking out for Falcons and Osprey instead of loving your child.

I'd recommend you wait until they are about 8 years old. Most children can run and defend themselves to some extent at this point. It also eliminates having to regurgitate into their mouths.

Source(s):
I am a Child Psychologist and avid hunter

1990 TRANNY LEAKING FLUID I DON'T NO WHY?

QUESTION:

1990 tranny leaking flud i dont no why?
some one help me please i got a 1990 honda accord thats leaking tranny fluid

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

I met a tranny once. Around that same time, oddly enough. She wasn't leaking fluid, thank God! But this is a common problem amongst them. Very few of them wrap it up or "put on a jimmy hat." If you know what I'm saying.

What I'm saying is, they don't use condoms. A little ointment should clear it up. Take them to a clinic. This is also a great place to meet loose women! Win, win.

Source(s):
Dr. House

MY GIRLFRIEND EAT CHICKEN JUST AFTER 2 HOURS OF TAKING EMERGENCY CONTRACEPTIVE PILL, IT'S ONLY 1 TABLET? (CHOSEN AS BEST ANSWER)

QUESTION:

its only 1 tablet ( EMKIT DS) to be taken within 72 hours of unprotective sex ? i was not using a condon , and i got ejuction insider her vagina ,, can she get pregnant ? what are the chances ? plz advice

* 5 months ago

Additional Details
its only 1 tablet ( EMKIT DS) to be taken within 72 hours of unprotective sex ? i was not using a condon , and i got ejuction insider her vagina ,, can she get pregnant ? what are the chances ? plz advice

because she ate chicken and fruit and some one told me that dont eat anything after taking emergency pills for 6 hours , otherwise pills will be useless , pills will not do there work ,, is this true ?

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

Yikes. Tough luck buddy. Looks like you're going to be a daddy. The chemicals in chicken reverse the affects of any drugs. This is why people on the AIDS cocktail stay away from ALL fowl. But good news is, just because you "got ejuction insider her vagina" doesn't mean she's pregnant. Bad news? Chicken makes you pregnant. Better luck next time.

Also, name the girl Foghorn Leghorn for me. She'll know what I mean. BTW, chicken makes you have a girl. Tough luck.

Source(s):
Farm Animal Pediatrician

CAN YOU GET CLUBPENGUIN COINS IN THE UK? (CHOSEN AS BEST ANSWER)

QUESTION:

Can you get clubpenguin coins in the uk?

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

Unfortunately not. What was once a national pastime here in the old UK, has now been outlawed. I remember the days growing up, when my grandfather would take me out penguin clubbing. There were herds of them then. We would take out our clubs, I named mine, "Clubbie." And we would just wail on them. For no reason either. Penguin meat is quite awful. We'd just leave them there. I did make a pillow out of one though.

Sorry to burst your bubble.

Source(s):
Penguin Clubbing Enthusiast of UK

WHAT'S THE CHEAPEST AIRLINE FOR MINORS TO FLY ON? (CHOSEN AS BEST ANSWER)

QUESTION:

I need to know what airline is the cheapest to fly on for my son who is going to be 15 years old. Which airline has the cheapest unaccompanied minor fee?

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

Good Question! *wink wink* I've had to fly minors back from Thailand all the time. Try Thai Airways. They're good and confidential. Just a word of advice. Don't have them dressed up as a bride when you pick them up from LAX. It only arouses unwanted suspicion.

Source(s):
Frequent Flyer Miler

HOW IMPORTANT IS IT REALLY TO WASH YOUR HANDS ALL TIME WITH BEARDED DRAGONS?

QUESTION:

i read that you should watch your hands before and after touching them because they may carry salmonella, or anything else, how true is that? if you own a beardie, how often do you wash your hands when handling them?

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

I would say this isn't important at all. In fact, washing your hands with bearded dragons is quite unproductive. They have all sorts of diseases that you can get from them, i.e. AIDS (and not the good kind). I know different tribes have different cultures, but this is just a little out there buddy. Try water. It's cheap, clean, and efficient. You can also try adding soap or different grits of sandpaper. Experiment until you get the one you like.

Source(s):
I am a Scientist. Don't question me.

WHERE CAN ONE FIND OUT INFO ABOUT WHAT DISNEY MOVIES ARE IN THE VAULT, WHEN ARE THEY COMING OUT OF THE VAULT, ETC?

QUESTION:

I am trying to find out which movies are in the vault, how long they will be there, and which ones will be coming out and when. I have googled this and never come up with a site that tells the info, yet I know people out there seem to know this. I collect the dvds and just want to know timelines, etc to make smart purchases! thanks for all input!!

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

Funny you should ask. To me it's all just a crock! They keep them in the vault to drive up prices. We should have access to them whenever we want! So, me and a few friends have devised a plan to break into said vault and steal the movies. We have the following:

1. The Guy with the Plan
2. The Guy who this is his last job before he retires to live off his stolen goods.
3. The Gadget Guy
4. The Sassy Woman
5. The Black Guy


All we need now is the guy who will double cross us and betray us. If you think you're up to it, let me know.

Source(s):
I also stole Col. Sander's secret recipe.

I'M BABYSITTING A TURTLE...HELP WITH FOOD?

QUESTION:

this turtle has been rescued from a creek and the owner has been on hollidays for ages. and i have turtle pellate things.... but should i give it some sort of meat? or anything?

what foods do they eat. (It's a penny turtle. so cute :P)

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

Being a babysitter is a big responsibility and I'm glad to see you taking it seriously! First of all, it sounds like a very great turtle you have there. Rescued from a creek. Amongst the reeds I assume. Surely he is the Moses of Turtles. He will lead his people into the wilderness for 40 years, but they shall be free.

You're going to want to keep him happy. The turtle can bring plagues of locust upon you. Good thing is, he'll probably eat them too. He probably won't eat meat. Especially pork! Try taking him to see movies like TMNT. This will show him that turtle and man can live in harmony along with giant rat. To be sure, he won't take kindly to the captivity of himself and his people. LET HIS PEOPLE GO!
Source(s):
Turtle Theologen

HOW LONG DO YOU GET FRO TRAFFICKING?

QUESTION:

my brother got caught in hawaii in a drug sting and was charged with selling drugs witin a 1000ft. of a school about five pounds worth of metanphetamine

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

Your brother is in luck! While creating, and being in, traffic is quite a nuisance, it is not illegal. I am 87 years young and I drive very slow causing much traffic behind me. I've been caught before, even near a school, and there is nothing they can do. The whippersnappers. I've also been caught, not looking back when backing up, refusal to see a red light, and not being able to see over the steering wheel. They can't do anything. To hell with them. It's your electric horse carriage, you can do what you want.

Source(s):
I was in the Great War and I own a well kept Model A.

MY KEYBOARD STOPS WORKING WHILE REBOOTING?

QUESTION:

I am trying to install windows xp on my computer and when I put in the xp cd and turn off my computer it says press any key to boot from cd. My problem is that my keyboard doesn't work there for some reason. it works while the computer is on but when i reboot it doesn't work until the log in screen. plz help me.

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

Ugh. I know how you feel. I once typed out a 6 page letter to Emelio Estevez, only to turn on my computer and find it wasn't there!!! I turned it back off again and typed it again, only to encounter the same problem. I think my cpu is broke, but it's the only one I've got. The green glow from the monitor hurts my eyes, so I prefer working with the CPU off. Unless, of cours I'm playing Oregon Trail!

Source(s):
I am in Computer Science III

MY CHOCOLATE PHONE WON'T REMEMBER TGHE WORDS I USE?

QUESTION:

my phone will not remember the words i use in the word program does anybody know why?

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

Who cares?? I mean seriously! You have a phone made out of chocolate! That is amazing. I don't know how you got the golden ticket, but I'd love to hear stories if you have any? How was the Gobstopper? I bet the flavor never went away. Also, have the Oompa Loompas unionized yet?
Source(s):
Charlies great-great grandchild

DOES ANYBODY KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CONJUGAL AND NUCLEAR FAMILY?

QUESTION:

Does anybody know the difference between conjugal and nuclear family? ?

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

There is a huge difference. Let me tell you. From someone who's been locked up for 18 years, conjugal family is better than no conjugal at all! I'm from W. Virginia so conjugal family is much more common here than elsewhere. While I'm not a scientist, I'd imagine a nuclear family isn't nearly as fun and could cause sterility if hugged. Quite the opposite with a conjugal family!!! BTW, please send money for cigarettes.

Source(s):
D Block

MY HAMPSTER STINKS REALLY BAD....?

QUESTION:

I cleaned her cage yesterday and she still smells, the cage doesnt, she does! Why, and how do I get her to smell better?

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

I'm glad you asked. There is more to this problem than you are aware. The problem is, simply, your hamster is dead. He probably has been for some time. It happens to every hamster at some point. Have you noticed that he doesn't use his hamster wheel nearly as much? Not eating as much as he used too? Flies eating his eyeballs? These are all signs of death. You can try mothballs or perhaps Lysol. Some rec commend Febreeze, but to me, all it does is mask the smell and does nothing to the source. Hope this helps.

Source(s):
I am a seeing eye hamster trainer/breeder

IS IT LILEY MY CAT MAY BE PREGNANT?

QUESTION:

hi ok im a little worried , i have a female and male cat they are both about 7 months old , they are due to get fixed in 2 weeks !!!!! problem is about 2 weeks ago i think my wee princess went into heat , signs i seen were , tiny bits of blood on the carpet in my room , my husband heard them "fighting" and when he went up he seen the blood , she was constantly wanting attention , when we clapped her , her tail would go right up and the tip would touch her head , he kept pinning her to the floor and when they usually fight they dont hurt each other but she was hissing and crying at him , now im worried she may be pregnant , we used to be able to clap her tummy but now she just runs away or trys to bite our hands we cant even check her nipples , ive also noticed that when she walks i can see her fur looks as if its dropping down on her tummy but beside her hind legs .....please help does this sound as if she is ??????? thank u

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

It sounds like your husband may have serious problems. If he has indeed, as you believe, impregnated your feline friend, it would be a medical miracle. While I know you are probably upset with him, the truth is, you could really cash in on this. If you cat gives birth to the world's first He-Cats or ThunderCats, you could be in for the best live action interpretation of a cartoon that the world has ever seen. First of all, you'll need to copyright your children. If someone gets the idea and goes behind you and steals your idea, all is for naught. Then get those kids into acting classes ASAP!

Source(s):
I'm a Genetic Engineer who moonlights as a Film Producer