Wednesday, October 7, 2009

What are some good intros?


QUESTION:

i am writing a research paper on the violin does anyone a good introduction?

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:


Well, whenever I enter a room, I always have "The Final Countdown" playing full blast. And then I fill the room with smoke from the smoke machines I got from that one guy on craislist. And then the pyrotechnics go off. They're on a spinwheel I got from a defunked local game show on public access, so they shoot off in all directions. Then I release the doves, well they're not really doves, they're just some pigeons I was able to lure to my window with some birdseed. Then I lower myself down from the ceiling with some old bungee cords my dad had in a box in the basement. Just as I touch the ground, explosions go off from the gasoline buckets I light on fire and that sets off the roman candles strapped to my legs. Then I sit down and eat dinner.
Source(s):
The Ultimate Warrior

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

what is the classification for this type of person?


QUESTION:

hates interaction,thinks outside the box,and makes difficult things look incredibly easy(great musician,intelligent,fit,etc)also is extremely emotional...

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

Let's break it down.

Hates interaction: This person probably uses a lot of technological gadgets to communicate with people instead of face to face. (twitter, MySpaces, Facebooks, texting, etc.) Probably yells at people instead of talking to them.

Thinks Outside the Box: This person probably enjoys strange games (dressing up as a panda while trying to get shaving cream into a bottle using your feet).

Intelligent: This person probably does very well on tests and probably aced the SAT. They're really good at math. They all are.

Fit: This person is very much in shape due to a low fat diet and exercise. Probably some form of Martial Arts.

Extremely Emotional: This person can take emotions to the extreme. Ex: Dishonor = suicide.

I think it's plain to see that the correct classification is Asian. Watch out. Their 12 year olds will beat you at any video game. No matter how good you are. No matter how good.

Source(s):
U.S. Ambassador to Asia

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

what are the five "R words" in school?


QUESTION:

what are the five "R words" in school?

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

First of all, you're being pretty insensitive. They don't like to be called the "R word." They're people too. And they're in school because they want to learn to bag groceries and pump gas and stuff like that. They have to get jobs too ya know? Just because they wear bike helmets all the time and get out of class at 2:00PM doesn't mean they can't go to school. So those five "R-words" will probably grow up to work at your local grocery. And if you aren't nice to them now, they'll probably put your bread on the bottom. And when you're enjoying some smooshed toast you'll wish you hadn't called them the "R-Word."

Source(s):
Life Goes On

Monday, September 28, 2009

Question about child abuse.?


QUESTION:

okay, so they mad us watch a video and school. it was a music video.
"alyssa lies" & im only 13 so i dont know much. but i probably no your answer. but, why do people have kids, just to hurt them? its reall upsetting. i love my parents, but i just dont understand my anyone would ever wanna hurt a child. especially their own . i mean really.

here;s a video of alyssa lies.
this is not my classroom
or the video i saw . i just
saw the regular music video
but whatever. ;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpE73PvU9…

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

I know it is hard to understand. You are so young and the world is so complicated. First of all, sometimes parents have a hard day at work and they bring that frustration home. They can't keep it all bottled up. That's bad for you, so they have kids. Sometimes parents drink too much and people insult them so to boost their confidence they beat their kids. It helps them feel better about themselves. Sometimes kids just don't listen and what else can you do? Ya know? Sometimes they are just wimps and can't take a punch.
Source(s):
I am a High School Guidance Counselor

Friday, September 25, 2009

How do i talk to my mom about marijuana?


QUESTION:

My boyfriend is going to be growing medical marijuana. completly legally helping sick people. how do i tell my mom about this? we've never talked about pot before. i'm 24.



Liz this is a good question. Too many children don't talk to their parents about the dangers of drugs. The first step is to try and let them know you aren't coming down on them and being a "square." Try and relate to them by saying, "Hey, I know what's cool. I know what's happening. Did you catch that episode of 30something? Pretty sweet huh?" That will let them know you are "one of them." Then try to bond using a common enemy. Say, "Hey, how about those yahoos in the healthcare debate? Huh?! This guy knows what I'm talking about." Old people get really worked up about that. Just join in on whatever side they're on. Then say, "Speaking of health, you know what's bad for your health? Weed cigarettes. Yeah."

Since you're coming at them as a friend, they'll be more likely to listen. Tell them that it can cause:

-Hallucinations
-Insanity
-Paralysis
-Death

Source(s):
I am with the D.A.R.E. program

Thursday, September 24, 2009

what is paranoia please let me know?


QUESTION:

what is paranoia please let me know?

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

Why do you want to know so bad?! And how did you know I was here? Did socr tell you I was here? Are you socr? If it is, this isn't the JohnnyDollar you're looking for. I'll tell ya that. As a matter of fact, he's dead. Yup dead. Horrible accident really. Someone let a gorilla loose in his bedroom. Yeah, that's the ticket. I don't know him even. I just heard this like from some guy on the bus or something. I don't know anything. Nothing. Hey, look over there!

*runs away*

Source(s):
I have no sources. I don't know anything. I swear. Just leave me alone.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

how to make sky+ remote to work for sky?


QUESTION:

Actually I am just in need of making sky+ remote to work for my sky. I dont know why this flipin sky remote is working. For pressing any number on it , I need to do all sort of ecersises!!!!.... Fortunately I got a sky + remote but I dont know how to make that to work with my sky tv...Any help in this regard will be appreciated!!!!

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

OMG! I'm not sure how you got the remote control from "Click" with Adam Sandler, but you are the man! Can I please come over and play with it? I'd imagine you'd have to use the brightness button. But don't make it too dark, I can't drive if it's too late. This is gonna be great! We're gonna be the best of friends. We can slo mo girls running and also pause so we can win every game of Battleship we ever play! We can also put crazy hats on everyone and then hit play and see their reactions. We can even rewind and go back in time like in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3. But I'm Michaelangelo. No negotiations. That is a deal breaker.

Source(s):
Christopher Walken