Do you know any old fashioned party games?

QUESTION:

I am having a traditional party, and i need some good party games. We are already doing pin the tail on the donkey, and pass the parcel.

Any suggestions welcome!

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

These whippersnappers today don't know anything! I'm glad to see people trying to bring back "kick the can" and "hoop and stick." Kids these days don't know diddly squat! I had to walk to school in the snow, uphill both ways. Barefoot! Now they have their VCRs and their Walk Mans. They don't appreciate nothing! And those Poke Mans are of the devil! Keep them away from your kids. I remember in WWII I think I killed a Pokey Mans once. I can't remember with my alzheimer's. I need to take my medicine. It's these dang pains in my arms I get. That, and I think I'm getting high off this Ben Gay. Ah, nevermind, I have to go to the bathroom again.

Source(s):
My kids never visit me.

1993 toyota 4runner making loud noise and comming from underneath.?

QUESTION:

I realize it's impossible to know for sure what the problem is but here goes. I have a 1993 toyota 4runner and a month or so ago toyota told me to replace the ujoints in order to pass safety but i have not had the money an now it's making a loud knocking noise. At first it was only when in gear but now it's full time. It became so loud i stopped driving it. Do bad ujoints cause a loud knocking or is it most likely something else all togather?

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

The same thing happened to by 1993 Rav 4. I had just driven my new girl out to Lover's Lane and I put on some mood music before we started some heavy petting. My girl heard something on the bumping around underneath the car. So I walked around and couldn't see anything. She was a bit worried, and we heard it again. I wanted to try to get to third base but she wanted to leave. I was pissed so I stepped on the gas and took her back. When she got out she was screaming her head off. I got out and on the door handle was a bloody hook.

Apparently a man had just escaped from the state insane asylum — which happened to be located not far from Lovers' Lane — and that anyone who noticed a strange man lurking about with a hook in place of his right hand should immediately report his whereabouts to the police.

Long story short, I killed Captain Hook. Don't make the same mistake.

Source(s):
Hook with Dustin Hoffman

Is my rat normal, please answer?

QUESTION:

one of my rats is asleep at the bottom of his cage, but his eyes are open. he's definitely asleep. its kind of creepy he looks dead, he isnt though, i just whistled and his ears moved

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

No reason to fret, this is normal. He is probably really tired from constantly running away from and pulling shenanigans on that old Tom cat. He has to sleep with one eye open or else the cat will come along and try to make a rat hot dog out of him. Complete with ketchup and mustard. Sure he'll wake up in time, but he'll have to shower. He's probably exhausted from painting fake mouse holes and then running into them anyway, only to have the cat bang his face against the wall.

You can help him out in a few ways.
1. Call in his very fast Mexican cousin. This will ensure that the cat is occupied for hours and your rat can sleep.

2. Buy a kangaroo. Your rat and the kangaroo can pull the old switcheroo on the cat and he will think the rat has grown huge! This will allow your rat to split time and not be as tired. Hope I helped.

Source(s):
Hannah Barbara

Do spells work. and i need some that actually work.?

QUESTION:

i need a spell that will grant my any wish. one that works and will never go away. and one that i can reverse if nessasary

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

Well Samantha, you've come to the right place! You see in years past using spells was quite a task. We had to memorize EVERYTHING! If we got something wrong, half the time we didn't even know it. Some say ignorance is bliss, but I don't think so. Luckily nowadays we have "spell check." It tells you if you've spelled anything wrong before you hit enter. And boy you sure could have used it when writing this question!! Welcome to the future Samantha. What wonders it beholds!

Source(s):
I am from 10 minutes in the future.

Me and my girlfriend broke up recently, and i have literally been sick to my stomach...?

QUESTION:

I've literally been sick to my stomach. Mental and emotional stress is one thing, but i'm becoming physically sick. I did think this was actually even possible. My stomach starts feeling really tense, gut wrenching so to speak, and a couple of times i couldnt help myself, and i threw up. any ideas? what's going on? thank you.

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

This exact thing happened to me when I broke up with my girlfriend. (I couldn't afford to keep paying for new windshields.) I kept throwing up and feeling dizzy. I just kept attributing it to bad Thai food. I went to the doctor...long story short, your ex girlfriend is poisoning you. I know it sounds crazy, but go check your antifreeze. She is slipping it into your food when you aren't looking. Stop cooling your freshly baked pies on the window sill!
Also, don't even think about taking out Sandra from the office. Your ex will just show up disguised as one of those guys dressed as a hot dog handing out free samples. She'll have some kid she is babysitting and claim it is yours and that you are a deadbeat dad. Just stay in and watch a movie. And if she wants to come over and drink and get back together, don't let her!!!

Reconstructive surgery can make things look better, but it'll never work the same again.

Source(s):
An Ex-Girlfriend, reconstructive-reattachment surgery, and 2 months of physical therapy.

P.S. We're back together.

Why is my orange goldfish turning black?

QUESTION:

i bough some goldfish and they are orange well now some are turning black

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:

I can understand in a recession how this might become a problem. Trying to store away food for the future seems like a good idea, but can become a problem. While goldfish are delicious and cheddary, they can lose that orange luster and turn black if you don't store them properly. This means your goldfish have probably moved past the stale stage and are well into the rotten stage. It's no big deal, simply go to the grocery store and purchase some more. And this time, try and get some of the ones with smiley faces on them. They cheer you up while you eat! Although I do find it hard to eat something so carefree and happy. But when I smell their cheddary goodness I can't resist. Sometimes I imagine they are in a cheddary ocean and I am a vicious cheddar loving shark out for revenge for the death of my shark brother at the hands of the cheddary morsels. My blood thirst cannot be quenched.

Source(s):
I work for Pepperidge Farms

How do you desex a leparde gecko?

QUESTION:

i was wondering how u do that also does she lay eggs like a terttle i mean ever though they arn't fertilized

JOHNNYDOLLAR ANSWERS:


Sorry Krista. What's done is done. I know the gecko probably wants it's virginity back, but once you sex, there is no desex. He can not call you and pretend like it didn't happen, but it did. For both of you. He probably wishes he hadn't drunk so much and done something he regretted. It's not you, it's him. He'll deny it to his friends, and insult you behind your back, but it's all just for show. Don't let it hurt your feelings. He's probably not even a virgin. He probably uses that line to get girls. Let this be a lesson to you both. Dear God I hope he had protection. The last thing we need is giant gecko's walking on two legs! Unless, it's like that cute Geico gecko. In that case, I hope you guys get back together.

Source(s):
I'm a high school counselor